I weighed myself this morning and the scale said 288 then 287 so I don't know what my weight is. I'm going to try and not get obsessed with the scale. I won't weigh myself again until Friday January 4, 2013. I only worked out for 30 minutes this morning and for 1.5 miles. I'm going to try and shoot for a second workout today after work. I'm superstitious so I need to be doing something at midnight to reflect how the new year will go. I know it sounds silly but I'm going to be working out at midnight with money in my hand. That means I will be healthy in 2013 and I won't be broke.

I was out of control with my eating over the Christmas holiday and as a result I have not lost any weight but have gained a couple pounds. Since Friday I have been within my 1400 calories each day and I have been doing two miles on the treadmill everyday so far. It's only day three but I am proud of myself for sticking with it. Tomorrow I weigh myself to see where I am .

I am going to try this healthy lifestyle stuff again. I am at my heaviest and my body is in pain. My back hurts and my sleep apnea is back. When I sit down I have to heave myself back up. If I bend down I can't get up without holding onto something. I look terrible and feel even worse. I pray for the strength, motivation, and will power to change my life once and for all.

I am going thru some things and i am in a constant state of stress and anxiety. I haven't been able to eat or sleep. I took my scale from it's hiding place and weighed myself and I am 278.5 almost back up to my highest weight of 287. This made me ever more stressed. I need to find a way to calm myself down and start feeling like a normal person again.

Still here, no changes.

I never ever work out on the weekends but I worked out this morning. I'm proud of me.

I'm feeling tired and heavier than usual today.